Cohabitation is the unstable living arrangement which presumes that a man and a woman, themselves not lawfully joined in Holy Matrimony, are nevertheless engaging in the sexual intimacy that is rightly the exclusive privilege of spouses. Cohabiting couples in this harmful situation who wish to marry in the Church should make the priest preparing them for the sacrament aware of their situation. He will prompt them to discontinue immediately their current living situation if they have not already done so. This separation is an important part of marriage preparation.
Cohabitation is harmful for three main reasons: (1) its obstinate persistence; (2) its manifest openness; and (3) its grave sinfulness. By briefly considering each of these reasons, I hope we can work to prevent this harmful disease from continuing to ravage young people in our community.
Obstinate Persistence: The danger in the obstinate persistence of a couple who have moved in with each other—even for a short while—is that while they know their situation is wrong, the are nevertheless unwilling to correct it. This is dangerous because the couple can begin to warp their consciences by using good intentions to justify a bad decision. The warping of the conscience at the crucial early stage of what is supposed to be a life-long relationship can have far-reaching unseen consequences.
Manifest Openness: The danger of the manifest openness of cohabitation is that it harms not only the couple but all those who know them as well. Marriage is a public reality. We are all responsible for bearing witness to the integrity of married life. Rampant cohabitation harms young people by removing the sacred vows of marriage from the common life of the family. Young people have a right to the safeguard of those vows. The public flaunting of sexual permissiveness is harmful to all who have to witness it.
Serious Sin: That intimacy which is rightly the exclusive privilege of lawful spouses is violated when removed from the sanctuary of marriage. What God has joined and called very good may not be brought low or subjected to base desire. Fornication and all unchastity harms the couple, who are made in God’s image, and offends God who created them. It also shows a contemptuous callousness and a blatant disregard for the children who could be born into their union, depriving them of the stability of Holy Marriage.
At the conclusion of Respect Life Month let us pray for couples preparing for marriage. May the nobility of their hopes for a happy life together summon them to prepare well for Marriage and avoid what ever may lead them and their families astray.